Exploring roots

Traveling is getting easier again and I decide to join my girlfriend Emilia for a trip to Slovakia. She has a funeral to attend and hasn't seen her family for a while, due to corona's influence on the world. Simultaneously we can take our relationship to the next level, by meeting my new family in law. I'm excited. A little nervous, but mostly excited.

To stay flexible we decide to drive instead of fly. We would just have to get a negative corona test, some forms stating we are just in transit and a registration for the Slovakian government. Fully prepared and clueless what to expect, I am surprised to encounter zero border control or checkpoints in Germany, Austria or Slovakia. The thought "Did we really have to spend this money and effort when apparently not everyone seems to care anymore?" came to mind multiple times. But then again: would you pay for a train ticket if there is a slight chance that someone checks your ticket? I would. Just for peace of mind. This is just part of traveling these days. 

The drive from the Netherlands to Slovakia is about twelve hours and we divide it in two days. I was looking forward to spending these hours in the car together. It's a really nice drive. Just being together. It feels light. No worries. Just holding the wheel, singing along to the Kelly Family and Bob Marley, and listening to an occasional podcast while holding hands. 

Around dinner time we follow a rainbow which brings us to a stop in Passau, a small city in the Southeast of Germany, near the border of Austria. The check-in at the hotel occurs through an intercom and everything in the city seems to be closed. A few youngsters hang on benches and some people walk their dog. That's about it. Traveling during corona times.. It's an interesting time for sure. There is an ice cream shop that is still open, but that seems to be it. As I'm mentally preparing for ice cream or noodles for dinner we see a "Wilkommen" sign in a small alley. "Guten Abend! Please find your way to our backyard patio." We found a hidden garden where they actually serve beers and food! 

The next day the journey continues and around 1PM we arrive in Bratislava at the apartment of Emilia's mom (referred to as "mom" going forward). Mom is awaiting us with open arms and home-made lunch. She doesn’t speak English much and Slovak is totally new to me, so Emilia is functioning as a two-way translator. Soon enough mom and I notice that Emilia only translates whatever is convenient for her, so mom and I start to take matters into our own hands. Using Google Translate I’m pronouncing whatever translation I see on the screen in my best Slovak. Mom does the same with her English output. This way I get to ask her about Emilia's embarrassing youth pictures, and what she was like when she was younger. Technology makes it so much easier these days, but it also leads to hilarious situations: I told mom that I was farting on the washing machine and she asked me if I delete sisters. When I’m politely declining to eat some sweet bread she says: “You don’t have to eat it, but it was nice to meet you..” Later that weekend when I would meet Emilia’s father and attempt to thank for offering ideas for my bathroom reconstruction, I accidentally thank him for peeing in my bathroom! Let me tell you: there is a big difference between pronouncing "ku" and "tsju" in Slovak! Luckily we can all laugh about these situations and Emilia saves the day multiple times by explaining what got lost in translation.

In the morning we have an appointment in Petržalka - a neighbourhood with a lot of communism characteristics - to get a PCR test. Let's prove, yet again, that we're not carrying the virus. The appointment takes 20 seconds. A stick in the mouth, followed by a stick in the nose and we are on our way. What do you think? Negative! Ok, I'm being a bit cynical but I understand its importance. We'll just follow rules. Since we're in this part of town anyway, we decide to drive around and see a less developed part of the city.

We continue to Vrakuňa, the neighbourhood where Emilia grew up. It's fun to imagine little Emilia playing in these streets and wonder if little Emilia was ever envisioning a future outside of Slovakia at one point.

Later that day we go to Emilia’s late grandfather's house. He passed away in December and today his ashes will be placed next to the ashes of his late wife in their garden. It’s a small get together and the spoken language is obviously Slovak. The family is bringing up memories about his life and when something is really funny or important I'll get the translation. For the rest of the time I'm just observing and practicing body language. It feels special for me to be together with Emilia and her family at such an important moment in their lives. I don’t need to speak the language to feel the emotions.

When the official part of the get-together is over, her brother takes us to meet their father. The language continues to be in Slovak and my tolerance for alcohol is tested. From what I can remember I passed the test gracefully. Believe me when I say that Slovak alcohol is no joke. “These drinks are like our dance teachers”, Emilia’s brother tells me later when he gifts me a tasting set. I feel we get along really well and even though I can’t contribute much to the conversation, I feel appreciated and welcomed. 

At the end of the day Emilia and I are going for a drink with just the two of us. "How are you doing honey?" she asks me. "I can imagine that there is a lot to process right now.." There was a lot today. But I'm doing fine. A little tired though. I liked to see where Emilia grew up, to be part of the funeral today and to meet her father and brother. And even though I couldn't understand everything, she made me feel comfortable. 

The atmosphere at mom's apartment is nice and relaxing. I feel like home. We have a room to ourselves where I can do my work or retreat for a nap. Their dog Nela is running around and offers herself gratefully whenever you feel like cuddling; Emilia is going through some stuff that she never took to the Netherlands; mom is cooking or painting; there is soft music playing and I’m writing, reading or playing the ukulele. Even though I am working this week, it feels like a vacation.

Over the next few days we visit Emilia's friends. They are all very nice and we get along well. My favorites are Veronika and Tomáš. We meet at a lake in Senec where their children can run around and I get introduced to langoš, a delicious, yet very unhealthy, summer snack. Their children are trying to communicate with me in Slovak, but we'll soon find a common language in just sitting on the floor and playing with toys. At one point their youngest comes sitting on my lap and I find myself reading a bird book to her in my best Slovak anyway. I really enjoy spending time with Veronika and Tomáš and we spend the night at their place, where there is no shortage of wine, snacks and good conversation (thankfully in English this time). It feels like a vacation in a vacation.

Bratislava has a lot of nature in the city and we take mom for a hike towards Hrad Devín, one of the many castles of Slovakia. Fun fact: Slovakia has the world's most castles per capita. That's a stat to be proud of! A trail starts just a few hundred meters from mom's place to lead us into the woods. We play a game where we score points for spotting animals first. It's a beautiful area for hiking and within a few hours we make it to the castle. Meanwhile the weather has taken a turn and the rain comes falling from the sky. Luckily, we always have a raincoat for unseen situations.  

Emilia and I make sure to also spend time with just the two of us. There are a lot of things to do for her and people to see this week and I am also working, so I'm happy when we carve out quality time. Nothing special we need to do. Just be together. We just sit somewhere and grab a beer or take the tram to the city center to stroll around a bit. We hike to the Bratislava castle and Emilia shows me her favourite places in the city. I find it very easy to have a good time with her and it just feels good. The more I get to learn about her roots, the more I feel connected to her. 

The week goes by fast and before we know it, it is time to pack our bags and give mom a big hug. We cannot leave without promising we'll come back soon. And we will. I'm looking forward to a lifetime filled with adventures together.